Artist Statement

My dad always said I had it good and that nothing was wrong, it was always in my head.. I did a lot of things other kids didn’t get to do. I mean how many other kids get to say they raced a race car? That is really cool except racing a race car requires a level of maturity. You need to learn how to drive, be a good sport, prepare to get hurt, be on stage with a microphone talking to random strangers and as a kid, I looked like a girl and was considered a girl so I had to live with hearing other parents yell at their kids for being beaten by a girl. I was told I was so mature for my age. I think one of the worst parts about racing was the fact my dad hated me making friends because they were my competition. Not my friends. Then when I quit? He was so angry. So angry. I will never not hear his voice. But you want to hear about Clown Town. Right. Clown Town is an attempt at being a child again but this time I have control. I use animals in my work as a ploy to create a feeling of safety and security. A sense of innocence. The animals for the most part are like imaginary friends or really fragile stuffed animals that I get to have a say over, manipulate them and shape them. They have to tell the bad stories, not me. I can just be happy and play.
Sculpting is such a violent process. The hitting, the cutting into small pieces, the hollowing out and then the brutality of the kiln. The temperature is rising and potentially harming the pieces under the pressure. When they come out they are forever frozen in this position. I feel so bad for what I have to do to them to get them to this point. They are me. The whole making process is a metaphor for what I have experienced. But after pain and heartbreak comes the clean up. Painting them for hours - taking my time with a small brush to make them become who they need to be. Who they deserve to be. Then I finish them off by putting them in their scenes to tell the stories of my life using a colorful facade to trick people into thinking they are happy. Only when people stop to take the time to listen will they know their true stories.